From: Kevin
To: Matt, Happy Marriage Husband

“I never thought of myself as a critic.

I thought I was just a guy who liked things to be accurate.

Whenever my wife would tell a story—whether it was to our friends or just to me—I’d find myself jumping in to fix the details.

If she said we went to that restaurant on a Tuesday, I’d interrupt and say, ‘Actually, it was a Wednesday because that was the night of the game.’ If she said she spent $50 on something, I’d remind her it was actually $65.

I thought I was helping her tell a better story.

But after reading your notes on the ‘No-Correction’ challenge, I realized what I was actually doing: I was making her feel like a kid who couldn’t get anything right. I was constantly ‘grading’ her.

So, I tried it for 48 hours.

We went to dinner with her parents, and she told a story about our last vacation. She got three or four details ‘wrong’: dates, names of places, whatever. I felt the urge to jump in every single time.

My tongue was practically bleeding from biting it.

But I stayed quiet. I just listened and nodded.The result? She was more animated and confident than I’ve seen her in months.

She didn’t look at me with that ‘waiting to be corrected’ face.

On the drive home, she was actually relaxed and affectionate instead of being quiet and defensive.

I realized that the ‘correct’ date didn’t matter at all, the connection did”