From: Mark, HMC Member
To: Matt, Happy Marriage Husband

“Day 5 hit me right where it hurts. You talked about ‘Nothing’ fights, those stupid arguments that blow up over stuff that doesn’t actually matter. For us, it’s always the kitchen.

Specifically, it’s how I load the dishwasher.

My wife has a ‘system,’ and I usually think her system is a waste of space.

Last night, she saw me putting the bowls in ‘wrong’ and made a comment.

Normally, I’d get defensive immediately.

I’d explain the logic of how the water sprays and tell her she’s being controlling.

Then we’d spend the next two hours in a ‘cold war,’ sitting in separate rooms.

I remembered the Day 5 mission.

I looked at the bowls and realized: This is literally nothing. In five years, am I going to care how these bowls were washed? No.

So, I just stopped. I said, ‘You’re right, your way gets them cleaner. I’ll do it like that from now on.’

She actually paused. She didn’t have anything to fight against anymore because I took the fuel out of the fire.

The ‘Nothing’ trigger just fizzled out.

We ended up actually talking and watching a movie together instead of wasting the night being annoyed.

It felt like I reclaimed two hours of my life just by letting go of being ‘right’ about a plastic bowl.”